WEEK 1 - Online

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (1)

monday (41) survivors It had been three days since you had awoken. The ship was still quiet, except for the low hums of enigmatic machines with no apparent purpose. You awake, like usual, to dim lighting and poor rations. Perhaps being on the ship had grown monotonous — it was, perhaps, amazing how little anything seemed to happen in space, a final frontier of malaise. That monotony is crushed by a voice echoing through the narrow hallways. Reformatting . . . Reformatting . . . Reformatting complete. The Pygmalion is online. Welcome, travelers. Please assemble in the meeting room. Your presence is mandatory. Silence falls once again. A minute or so passes, and the lights around the ship finally brighten, the walls looking more alive and more unfamiliar — as if you must relearn the ship's interior once again. The robots on deck begin to make rounds, nudging and pushing at the ship's passengers to make their way to the meeting room. You hear the doors behind you lock. It seems there is only one path to take. ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

[thatbites]

[Emily is definitely looking through that entire list since, you know, knowledge is power and all that. It's a pretty standard affair and everything about her is correct if stupidly worded.

Yeah, she's got an issue with something else here. It's a good thing she's not the type to keep things quiet to herself.]

Am I the only person here that isn't a murderer of some sort?

[WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE GUNS AND SWORDS?]

[parodeity]

Hey I'll have you know I've only killed, like, monsters and shit.

[ and himself technically by virtue of time travel but is killing yourself really murder ]

[thatbites]

The imps? Ri-iight...

[She remembers the weird shit he said that sounded fake as hell.]

I guess that's a step up even if you do carry around a sword.

[parodeity]

[ what like wendigos don't sound fake as hell, emily ]

I'm not going to use it on any of you. Knight's a class that's meant to defend, or at least that's how I'm takin' it. The sword is only for use on shit that jumps out at us.

[todorable]

Hey, don't lump all of us in as weirdo psychopaths!

[thatbites]

[Oh hey, she remembers his as the single normal one.]

You're like the only other person here that isn't trained in the art of hand to hand fighting or some bullshit so you're fine.

[todorable]

You know it. What is even with these people? Acrobatics? Magic? Mass-murder!? What are we supposed to be doing in this crazy circus?

[monsieurchatastrophe]

I've never killed anyone!

[for the first time he sounds genuinely offended. he's a SUPERHERO, EMILY, GOSH]

[thatbites]

Good job.

[She honestly didn't think some 15 year old is a murderer but, whew, he sure has a list of skills.]

Half your profile still doesn't make any logical sense though. Unless you just had a really ambitious mom.

[monsieurchatastrophe]

My father, actually. My mother's...[he trails off with a shrug and a sad smile because, well, y'know] Anyway. He's got a lot of expectations.

[refactor]

I mean, probably. But you're also a huge moron that doesn't even think this is real, so don't feel too bad.

[ handsome jack, always providing helpful commentary ]

[thatbites]

[She really doesn't care about his hacking skills since she already knows that he can't do anything so she's going to comment on the only other important thing here.]

Huh. Alright, another question: Did you legally change your first name to Handsome or did your parents just have a lot of hope for you?

[She knows he has a pistol and here she is asking this still.]

[refactor]

[ At least this is the sort of insult he's pretty used to hearing, so as such, it rolls off of him much more easily. He just smirks, then shrugs. ]

Neither, cupcake. It's just a statement of fact. Think of it like a title if you want. It's just an obvious part of my name, like "CEO." It's got a nice flow, doesn't it? Handsome Jack, CEO of Hyperion.

[laptopper]

That depends. Ever stomped on a spider?

[thatbites]

[Okay, she's just glaring at Fumi.]

How can I edit this to add pedantic to your list of skills?

[tacklefordwhimsy]

Hey, I'm not a murderer.

[One, two, three seconds...]

Ramming a goblin against a tree with my car doesn't count.

[thatbites]

[Your profile didn't even have any fighting skills and then you introduce yourself like this, Shelley...

Emily just sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. She's already had to accept a lot of things so.]

You're gonna have to define goblin for me.

[erythristic]

Having the skills to defend oneself doesn't qualify one as a murderer, miss.

[actually killing people does. and Grell has, but she's not saying so.]

[thatbites]

Fine! Then I call bullshit on being locked up with a bunch of people trained to "defend" themselves! Where's my crash course, huh?

[qundercover]

[Yes. Yes you are.]

What's "bungee jumping"?

[thatbites]

A bad joke.

[Okay, really, she just keeps going with the real answer after a moment.]

It's when people jump off cliffs and bridges but get caught by a bungee cable so they don't die. It's for the adrenaline rush.

[bloodbiter]

[raising an eyebrow]

Having knowledge of weaponry doesn't make one a killer.

[thatbites]

No offense, [said in the tone of someone meaning every offense.] but only a few of you guys look like you could be Navy SEALs. Just saying. It's not like these are normal things to know.

[missmaladroite]

[exCUSE YOU]

I'm not a murderer! Don't just accuse people!

[CHLOE 2.0]

[thatbites]

Fine. [Rolls eyes.] The kids are exempt from my murderous accusations.