WEEK 1 - Online

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (1)

monday (41) survivors It had been three days since you had awoken. The ship was still quiet, except for the low hums of enigmatic machines with no apparent purpose. You awake, like usual, to dim lighting and poor rations. Perhaps being on the ship had grown monotonous — it was, perhaps, amazing how little anything seemed to happen in space, a final frontier of malaise. That monotony is crushed by a voice echoing through the narrow hallways. Reformatting . . . Reformatting . . . Reformatting complete. The Pygmalion is online. Welcome, travelers. Please assemble in the meeting room. Your presence is mandatory. Silence falls once again. A minute or so passes, and the lights around the ship finally brighten, the walls looking more alive and more unfamiliar — as if you must relearn the ship's interior once again. The robots on deck begin to make rounds, nudging and pushing at the ship's passengers to make their way to the meeting room. You hear the doors behind you lock. It seems there is only one path to take. ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

[douchemag]

It's probably from all the drinking contests you've been in!

[yes being over 600 lbs definitely seems like a plausible repercussion of being drunk all the time???]

[qundercover]

[Well. Uh. It probably does have a lot to do with the massive amount he consumes in all the drinking contests he's in. Congrats on actually being a not total failure of a BULLY, Judar.]

It's probably from all the fighting contests I've been in. And won, by the way. Because that's 600lbs of muscle coming at you.

[douchemag]

[The sad part is he wasn't even trying to be a bully here, this is him being legitimately friendly.]

How'd you win, by sitting on them? [okay now he's being a bully. Though he does actually sound kind of impressed, because if there's anything Judar respects, it's strength.]

[qundercover]

Should try it sometime. They'd never see it coming. Someone tries to sneak up behind me, like they always do, then WHAM! Right into the ground.

. . . Eh, better not. Seems a good way to get stabbed in the ass.

[douchemag]

Pfffthaha, probably! Or maybe they'd get their head stuck up there instead!

[qundercover]

Yeah, not enjoying that image. I'll stick to just crushing them with an axe. Or a fist. Once took out a guy with a beer barrel from across the bar. All way better ways to fight than taking it sitting down.

[douchemag]

[He whistles.] That's not as funny, but that's still pretty good!

What about your horns? You're good at puns, did you ever gore anyone with them and shout 'I'm feeling HORNY'?

[yeah that's about the best pun he can do...sad.]

[qundercover]

Hah! Feelin' honry! That's great! [Listen, his card does say BAD puns.] Sorry to HORN in! I was horn ready for this!

[hoo boy]

Actually tried it before - putting my head down and just charging. Sounds great until you've got two guys dangling there and screaming around your ears for the rest of the fight. Removing them just gets . . . messy.

[douchemag]

[Oh no, he's genuinely laughing at these terrible puns. Wow.] You could wear their corpses like a hornament!

[But okay, as much as he loves war and strife and fighting, actual gore is not his thing. He's not exactly squeamish, but he does look pretty disgusted by that image.]

Ewww, I can see why you stopped then. That sounds nasty.