WEEK 1 - Online

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (1)

monday (41) survivors It had been three days since you had awoken. The ship was still quiet, except for the low hums of enigmatic machines with no apparent purpose. You awake, like usual, to dim lighting and poor rations. Perhaps being on the ship had grown monotonous — it was, perhaps, amazing how little anything seemed to happen in space, a final frontier of malaise. That monotony is crushed by a voice echoing through the narrow hallways. Reformatting . . . Reformatting . . . Reformatting complete. The Pygmalion is online. Welcome, travelers. Please assemble in the meeting room. Your presence is mandatory. Silence falls once again. A minute or so passes, and the lights around the ship finally brighten, the walls looking more alive and more unfamiliar — as if you must relearn the ship's interior once again. The robots on deck begin to make rounds, nudging and pushing at the ship's passengers to make their way to the meeting room. You hear the doors behind you lock. It seems there is only one path to take. ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

[qundercover]

Who took that weight? That's not accurate - anyway it's perfectly normal for fighting shape. That's hurtful.

[He says, while trying to sit extremely uncomfortably in one of these too small chairs. Whatever!!!!]

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[...oh god adrien can't believe he's doing this]

It sounds normal for your ... size? Monsieur.

[it's a massive man with horns who got his feelings hurt by the card attributes and he is trying to comfort him. oh boy.]

[qundercover]

Yeah for my size [what does THAT mean adrien] and the fighting shape I'm in. Gotta count horns too - these guys aren't lightweights. Really builds up the shoulders. Muscles weigh more than fat. Just what a guy my size should weigh. Just sayin' what's the point in publishing it.

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[that you're a giant and it's very intimidating]

What's the point in publishing any of this? To freak us out, probably.

[douchemag]

It's probably from all the drinking contests you've been in!

[yes being over 600 lbs definitely seems like a plausible repercussion of being drunk all the time???]

[qundercover]

[Well. Uh. It probably does have a lot to do with the massive amount he consumes in all the drinking contests he's in. Congrats on actually being a not total failure of a BULLY, Judar.]

It's probably from all the fighting contests I've been in. And won, by the way. Because that's 600lbs of muscle coming at you.

[douchemag]

[The sad part is he wasn't even trying to be a bully here, this is him being legitimately friendly.]

How'd you win, by sitting on them? [okay now he's being a bully. Though he does actually sound kind of impressed, because if there's anything Judar respects, it's strength.]

[chiseler]

Shouldn't that be like the last thing you're worried about with these? [Luke maybe you should just...not...to people much bigger than you.]

[qundercover]

Nah. All the other shit they would have figured out easy. But weight. That's some dedicated shit.

[chiseler]

Height, weight, abilities...makes you wonder just how long we were in those pods before they decided to give us a little bit of freedom.

[tevinteriscoming]

Agreed. Seems light, doesn't it.

[Sorry, but he has to be mean. If everyone has to know he's 30, at least they'll also know Bull is 45 and has a fat ass.]

[qundercover]

Good to hear they didn't forget your staff. It's probably feeling neglected.

[Bull is 45 and is FIT AND TRIM FOR HIS HEIGHT.]

[tevinteriscoming]

[Ignoring! All he has to do is remember 650 lbs.]

They didn't forget my fabulous moustache, either. It's nice to be appreciated.

[erythristic]

...they have our weights.

[oh. good lord, no, she's not comfortable with this.]

[qundercover]

They have a guess at our weights.

[BECAUSE IT'S NOT RIGHT!!!!]

[laptopper]

Shouldn't more weight be helpful in a fight of brute force?

[qundercover]

Sure, if you know how to use it. Some of these big guys just throw it around like they don't know where they're going. You gotta combine weight and skill to really get use out of it, so they know you're bigger and better.

Anyway, I got plenty. I'm the right amount of weight. For my fighting shape.

[todorable]

At the risk of being squashed into a pancake... You're a spy? How does that even work?

[seeing as he is probably the least inconspicuous guy in here...]

[qundercover]

I don't squash indiscriminately.

And being a spy isn't as hard as you think. It's not all that crap you read in the books about sneaking around in tight black clothes, obviously I'm not sneaking anywhere. You mostly just take a look around, see what everyone's doing and send some letters back home.

[toprotecttheworld]

The Iron Bull. Your name is near the room with my name on it, isn't it.

[Jessie sounds bored, really, there's so much information she doesn't care about entering her brain right now.]

Well, you are big. Are you part Tauros or something?

[qundercover]

Seems like it. Naturally Flawless, Extremely Gorgeous, right? Nice to meet you.

Nah. Don't know what that is. All Qunari. Or, guess if you believe the legends, part dragon. [The legends that you mostly made up, Bull.] It's in the horns, see?

[missmaladroite]

I, um, isn't it just muscle, Monsieur Bull?

[have another child trying to awkwardly soothe his ego]

[qundercover]

[Thank you, precious children.]

Damn right it's just muscle. Spent years building this up. Even Qunari aren't born like this - this right here is experience.

[brainsqueeze]

( Who cares about weight when you've got arms as fine as his? No she's not compared Thor's to his to see who's is better )

Maybe they weren't going for accurate.

[qundercover]

[ Good. Now imagine them arm wrestling. Imagine it. It'd be so good. ]

You can kidnap a guy, but you gotta add insults to the mix? There's being a shit who throws people into magic illusions and there's being a shit who throws people into magic illusions and then is a dick about it.