
It had been three days since you had awoken. The ship was still quiet, except for the low hums of enigmatic machines with no apparent purpose. You awake, like usual, to dim lighting and poor rations. Perhaps being on the ship had grown monotonous — it was, perhaps, amazing how little anything seemed to happen in space, a final frontier of malaise.
That monotony is crushed by a voice echoing through the narrow hallways.
Reformatting . . .
Reformatting . . .
Reformatting complete. The Pygmalion is online. Welcome, travelers. Please assemble in the meeting room. Your presence is mandatory.Silence falls once again. A minute or so passes, and the lights around the ship finally brighten, the walls looking more alive and more unfamiliar — as if you must relearn the ship's interior once again. The robots on deck begin to make rounds, nudging and pushing at the ship's passengers to make their way to the meeting room. You hear the doors behind you lock. It seems there is only one path to take.
ENTER COMMAND_
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What I wanna know is what kind of "dick jokes" we're talking about here.
[Browsing through everyone's profiles, right in front of their faces.
... His profile also makes him sound fat. This is a crime. Thanks, DC.]
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Uh, obviously hilarious ones.
[ because jack is the one telling them??? duh??? ]
But, hey, gonna read your mind here and say you can't ask for one. Doesn't work like that. A good dick joke isn't something you can force. It has to just happen naturally.
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[ this is the only conversation dave cares about enough to interrupt, what does that say about him. ]
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[ A pause, and then: ]
Also, why the hell do you think I'm a reality TV star? That's stupid.
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[ dave says, completely deadpan.
but no it's jack's heavy vanity and big personality, tbh. ]
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[ Jack had been expecting to get offended, but this is factually true and holds up, so he just nods. ]
Wouldn't say reality TV so much as "handsome CEO," but I'll take it.
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[ they are basically the same thing anyway in this case he feels ]
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Yeah, see? That's the kind of yes man I like. You're going places, kid.
[ So that's a yes ]
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he will take jack apparently approving of him, sure ]
As long as those places involve our captors hopefully unlocking our rooms I'm chill with that.
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[ He waves a hand vaguely, which is meant to refer to wherever the fuck they've been chilling so far, because who knows. It's a mystery I'm too lazy to answer. ]
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[ IT SUCKS ]
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[ That's an improvement from the last time they talked... Ish. ]
But, fine, I'm interested. Just who is your mom, anyways?
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[He didn't actually want to hear one, but sure. Okay. He's not going to ruin Jack's dick shaped hopes and dreams.]
Guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope to be in your general vicinity when inspiration strikes.
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I mean, statistically speaking? Chances are pretty good. This place is friggin' tiny, there's not many of us, et cetera, et cetera, you get the picture.
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[Jack needs better standards. They all need better standards.]
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[She's actually a little impressed! If it's all true.]
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I like to think of it as being prepared.
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And what are you trying to be prepared for? Detective work? You're a bit young to be a policeman.
[Says the girl from a world where people leave home at 10 and never age.]
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Something like that.
[Share that fountain of youth with the rest of us mortals.]
But can't a guy be prepared for the sake of being prepared?
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[That's not quite true, but it is a little amusing to her that a nineteen year old seems so interested in such colorful activities.]
Maybe it will come in handy, who knows? Whenever whatever this is finishes, we should start looking around the ship again. If you found a way to escape, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?
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[It's all part of the life he got suckered into. Thanks, Batman.]
Sure. I'd tell you, and everyone else. No point on sitting on the kind of info that could get us all out.
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But just so we're clear, you'd tell me before the others, right? You're not the only one with an interesting set of skills around here.
[Please look at her profile, she has an awful list of skills.]
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You seem pretty keen on being the first one to know. Any reason why?
[You'd think people would at least pretend to be team players in this situation...]
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Only so I can help you spread the good news around, of course! What other reason could there be?
[;)]
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[Laying the sarcasm on pretty thick.]
You could want to escape on your own, long before anybody else gets to hear about it. Or you could be looking to sabotage the escape route. With a group like this [gesturing to the profiles] it's not hard to imagine we might have unsavory types among us. Might even be a mole within our numbers, for all we know.
[Jason Todd: Paranoid to the extreme.]
So — don't worry. I can spread the news by myself.