WEEK 1 - Online

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (1)

monday (41) survivors It had been three days since you had awoken. The ship was still quiet, except for the low hums of enigmatic machines with no apparent purpose. You awake, like usual, to dim lighting and poor rations. Perhaps being on the ship had grown monotonous — it was, perhaps, amazing how little anything seemed to happen in space, a final frontier of malaise. That monotony is crushed by a voice echoing through the narrow hallways. Reformatting . . . Reformatting . . . Reformatting complete. The Pygmalion is online. Welcome, travelers. Please assemble in the meeting room. Your presence is mandatory. Silence falls once again. A minute or so passes, and the lights around the ship finally brighten, the walls looking more alive and more unfamiliar — as if you must relearn the ship's interior once again. The robots on deck begin to make rounds, nudging and pushing at the ship's passengers to make their way to the meeting room. You hear the doors behind you lock. It seems there is only one path to take. ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

[parodeity]

I'm actually gonna back up the reality tv star here, good dick jokes are all au naturel, the forced ones are just tryhard and unfunny.

[ this is the only conversation dave cares about enough to interrupt, what does that say about him. ]

[refactor]

Eeeexactly. [ He draws out that first syllable with a smile, because THIS KID... He gets it. ] Now, granted, forcing any kind of joking? Totally ruins the joke. In general. But it's extra unfortunate with a dick joke, because a well timed dick joke is always hilarious. It's a law of the universe or something.

[ A pause, and then: ]

Also, why the hell do you think I'm a reality TV star? That's stupid.

[parodeity]

Your hair is too completely fabulous for anything else.

[ dave says, completely deadpan.

but no it's jack's heavy vanity and big personality, tbh. ]

[refactor]

Okay, that's. That's actually pretty fair.

[ Jack had been expecting to get offended, but this is factually true and holds up, so he just nods. ]

Wouldn't say reality TV so much as "handsome CEO," but I'll take it.

[parodeity]

I can switch it to handsome CEO if that's your preference.

[ they are basically the same thing anyway in this case he feels ]

[refactor]

[ He nods, giving a true reality tv star/CEO kind of smile. ]

Yeah, see? That's the kind of yes man I like. You're going places, kid.

[ So that's a yes ]

[parodeity]

[ i mean dave is basically just too go with the flow here to argue the point and also he thinks jack's self-confidence is entertaining, but ok

he will take jack apparently approving of him, sure ]

As long as those places involve our captors hopefully unlocking our rooms I'm chill with that.

[refactor]

Also fair. Kind of sick of sleeping, you know—

[ He waves a hand vaguely, which is meant to refer to wherever the fuck they've been chilling so far, because who knows. It's a mystery I'm too lazy to answer. ]

[parodeity]

Same. I dibbs'd a couch so mom could sleep on it and have been, you know, sleepin' on the floor.

[ IT SUCKS ]

[refactor]

Back to your mom again? But, I mean, that's good. At least you're not sharing.

[ That's an improvement from the last time they talked... Ish. ]

But, fine, I'm interested. Just who is your mom, anyways?

[parodeity]

Rose would fuckin' kill me if I let her sleep on the floor, okay.

[ his sister is mildly terrifying. ...also, dave is just kind of super hoping roxy likes him in like the familial sense???? she seems to like him???????? it's nice? ]

You can't tell? Roxy Lalonde. I think we kinda look alike.

[refactor]

[ Jack looks at the profiles and skims through the names, but once he gets to Roxy, he makes an "ohhh" sort of noise of understanding, because it's true, they do. However, this is also quickly followed by something else as he looks back to Dave with pure confusion on his face. ]

Wait, wait, wait... You two look the same age. How is she...

[ He trails off because he super does not want to think too hard about this. ]

[parodeity]

All the people involved in our fam are test tube babies. And also time travel bullshit was involved. And alternate universes. Trust me when I say you do not want the long story.

[ THE LONG STORY IS EVEN MORE BULLSHIT THAN THAT ]

[refactor]

[ Now, granted, Jack comes from a pretty weird place, and he's well aware of that, but this? What?? ]

You know, part of me is thinking, "yeah, should definitely listen to that warning," but mostly I'm still curious. I do. Not right now, but, seriously, what the hell?

[parodeity]

Sure thing. Hit me up whenever, dude. It's not a state secret, it's mostly just "haha shit I barely understand some of the more esoteric points of my life, how'm I supposed to explain it".

[ but if u want a private convo for dave to Tell You About Homestuck, it's your funeral ]