WEEK 1 - Online

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (1)

monday (41) survivors It had been three days since you had awoken. The ship was still quiet, except for the low hums of enigmatic machines with no apparent purpose. You awake, like usual, to dim lighting and poor rations. Perhaps being on the ship had grown monotonous — it was, perhaps, amazing how little anything seemed to happen in space, a final frontier of malaise. That monotony is crushed by a voice echoing through the narrow hallways. Reformatting . . . Reformatting . . . Reformatting complete. The Pygmalion is online. Welcome, travelers. Please assemble in the meeting room. Your presence is mandatory. Silence falls once again. A minute or so passes, and the lights around the ship finally brighten, the walls looking more alive and more unfamiliar — as if you must relearn the ship's interior once again. The robots on deck begin to make rounds, nudging and pushing at the ship's passengers to make their way to the meeting room. You hear the doors behind you lock. It seems there is only one path to take. ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

[al2955]

Typically, a trial is a formal procession in which evidence is presented to determine if a defendant is responsible for a criminal action or not. Here exists a dichotomy between 'guilty' and 'innocent'. Trials here, however, are rather different. Instead, a number of suspects will be selected and you must discuss amongst yourself who is the one guilty of a given murder. The suspect who receives a majority vote will be retired, whether they were the true culprit or not.

I hope that sufficiently answers your question, Rhys.

[jackhole]

[ stop saying his name, it makes him feel weird ]

Is retired just another word for killing them? Who's killing them? Are we killing them? Is this like two bodies a week until we all die?

[ !!! ]

Am I going to be killed? Can't I just... pay you... and leave? I have a lot of money. I'll pay for Fiona too.

[ casually forgets about jack tho ]

[parodeity]

Given the context clues I'm p sure it's another word for killing them. And given the "trial" shit, it's probably an execution.

[ so ]

[jackhole]

Oooookay. Right. Well, that's kind of a lot of work for just killing some people.

[ rhys has a headache tbh ]

[parodeity]

Basically, yeah. I also do not see what useful data you could get out of that sort of project, other than "spoiler alert, people can be assholes".

[ BREAKING NEWS AT ELEVEN ]

[al2955]

Unfortunately, as I am unable to anticipate the future, I cannot answer many of your questions.

[ Did the AI just shade Rhys? Who knows. ]

I am afraid money will not be a sufficient pardon, Rhys. I am not quite sure where you would place it, if you were to give me any. In the jar above me, perhaps?

[jackhole]

Oh, fuck you. You know what I god damn mean, lady.

[ but seriously again with the name thing. you don't know him like that?? ]

Look, we're not... supposed to be here, okay? And really, if your goal is shock value like -- [ gestures to... everyone else all offended here ] you have your pick. Just, just send us back to Pandora and it's fine. She'll kill a few psychos for you in return. Right, Fiona?

[ SORRY COCO but yeah rhys just awkwardly pats fiona's shoulder and grins at the AI because fuck you again ]

[hatslinger]

Huh? Yeah, yeah. Kill some psychos. For sure.

[ sorry, rhys, looks like fiona's a little checked out. she's.. thinking. so don't mind her dismissiveness. ]

[jackhole]

[ just the most long suffering look

he was trying to help them. why do you suck so much, fiona?? ]

[refactor]

[ Wow? Wow. ]

Uh, I'm right here, dickface.

[ HE WANTS TO GO HOME TOO ]

[jackhole]

[ oh, right. just a awkward half-hearted gesture at jack. ]

Oh, and him too, I guess. Just kind of assumed you'd want to stick around for the whole Murderbrawl 2871 thing.

[refactor]

[ The "I guess" just makes this even more insulting, which gets Jack's expression to twist up even more. ]

Uh, no. You know, I might be totally fine with murder? Hell, a good murder is an artform. But that's why I'd just host my own goddamn Murderbrawl. And it'd be way better than this.

[jackhole]

[ okay fine stop being so delicate ]

Kind of surprised you haven't already, actually.

[ that's totally aside the point here but whatever!! he had to(???) point it out, okay. ]

[refactor]

[ shut up aubrey he's sensitive?? ]

Well, I mean, we kind of have? If you count the whole "murdering each other because why not" thing. Just nothing this... formal. This is wayyy more rules than any of the Hyperion Death Matches.

[ He pauses, then adds: ]

Actually, speaking of, did you ever bet on the Psycho Slaughter Arenas? Do they still do those? Please tell me they still do those, because those weren't even my idea, but they were great.

[jackhole]

[ haha oh right... the hyperion slaughters... right... those things are totally something that still exist. ]

Uhhhh. I'm pretty sure Fink's still running his over in the Fridge? Daily matches too, never runs out of contestants. The Hyperion ones are going but, well, you know Blake. He doesn't really give them a lot of attention.

[ rhys is going to hell ]

[refactor]

Ohhhh, yeah, he's a total killjoy. Can't even find a friggin' violin when I need it. [ honestly don't ask about that one, Rhys ]

Okay, so, since you brought him up. Totally different subject here, but is it just me or does Blake look super evil to you? Because he looks super evil to me. I mean, his hair even does that thing.

[ Jack makes a curling motion at the back of his head to symbolize those swoops of Mr. Blake's hair that definitely looks like horns. ]

But he's like, weirdly responsible. He's probably the evilest looking guy I've met, but I've met interns worse than he is. Interns!

[jackhole]

[ rhys just has the physical equivalent of !!! because he knows exactly what jack means. ]

Oh my god, I thought it was on purpose? Like, he really seems to like that hairstyle and it's kind of... I don't know, it just doesn't match his personality at all.

[ they're totally gossiping about work now. once again, sorry, fiona. ]

So, once, I had to go see him for something? Just to pass on some paperwork and he ... he thanked me for it? Offered me a chocolate! I was so terrified. I thought I did something wrong.

[ oh, hyperion. ]

[refactor]

[ Jack shakes his head at first to the idea that it's on purpose, beacuse, well, it might be, but it still doesn't fit! Blake probably made it to the top by looking like... Well, one of the founders of Hyperion, if Jack is honest. But considering how Jack has also tried to erase the memory of them from existence for petty reasons, he doesn't bring that up. ]

Yeah, who even does that? I mean— Hell, that's like workplace hazing. We have a policy against that.

[ In Hyperion, "hazing" is basically being nice when it's not expected and making someone so paranoid about getting stabbed in the back that they stab someone in the back. Literally. Or usually, it ends up with an entire unit getting brutally murdered, hence the policy. Do you know how hard it is to replace an entire unit after a workplace murderous rampage? HR is a nightmare. ]

But naaah, that's why I've kept him around. He's a scary dude without even meaning to be? Like he's about as scary as your buddy Abs McGee.