WEEK 13 - I can't lie to you about your chances, but you have my sympathies.

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (13)

sunday (41) survivors Something in the air breaks, shattering from deep within space itself - and to accompany that sensation is a psychic scream. The ship shakes, coming to a screeching halt as a bright light explodes outside it. It pulses, not unlike a heartbeat, that crawls and crawls along at a slow, grueling pace. The last illusion has been broken, the last mental tie severed and crushed. You've done well up until now, and you can reap the benefits of Her labor; the dead walk among you, after all, and as Her scream rings out, a burst of energy shoots through the residents of the Pygmalion. It's clearly a desperate bid, but it doesn't root itself in place. Instead, you feel lighter than ever - Her attempt to claim you has only unraveled the string that kept you in place. The 40% limit has been lifted, and you are at full capacity. The chains have been broken. Go freely, heroes. taken list profiles private conversations setting rulebook ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

[parodeity]

So I guess this is a false marriage alarm since killing things is clearly a 100% of our attention kind of deal.

[ dave says, not paying even 40% attention to what he's doing... ]

Not that I'm complaining about the battle being, you know, not the hardest.

[douchemag]

[guys...this is such an obvious ploy...do you really think anyone would fall for it...]

Too hard? I'll show you too fucking hard! [thank god he's unnerfed because it means instead of flying off to write notes on his arm mulan style again, he can just prick his finger and project his memory of the furry wedding in midair so he can relearn the words]

Dearly fucking beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union between Dave Strider and Yuno--

...wait, where's Adrien? Someone grab him, I'm not waiting forever for this!

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[LITERALLY FUCKING FACEFAULTS LIKE AN ANIME CHARACTER]

Are you kitten me right now? Still?

[bloodteller]

[ the second judar is starting, yuno's off to grab dave's hand but then -- ]

...Does anyone want to explain to Judar, or should we just leave him in the dark? You could just go off into a corner...

[ and detransform, leaving judar to ponder one of life's many, many mysteries. who is chat noir. who is adrien. who... are they. we just don't know!!

but also, like ] I'm helping Elizabeth with her tears so I guess if anyone's dying later, it might be me, so no, no false wedding alarm. Are you trying to back out of starting a family with me, Dave? That's not very gentlemanly.

[parodeity]

Rose and I are goin' through those tears, you know...

[ he's kind of frowning, but he's pretty sure they shouldn't die? maybe? they all have their powers back, rose won't fucking let him pick a path where he ends up dead. he thinks. ]

I'm not backin' out, but I feel like Adrien's secret identity reveal is up to, uh, Adrien. Since he has it for exactly one person. Dude, what do you think?

[douchemag]

Neither of you are dying! [wait that sounds too much like he cares shit time to back up] It'd be pathetic as hell if you survived all of this shit just to get taken out by something that lame!

And what the fuck are you guys going on about? Let's just get this dumb wedding over with already!

[monsieurchatastrophe]

[just staring at Judar. decisions... decisions... decides to be a shit]

It's fine, we should get the wedding under way. I'll-- [snrks] I'll stand in as Adrien for Dave. Tell him all about it. We should hurry this up.

[bloodteller]

[ oh my god. well, chat noir is attending a mid battle wedding apparently.

meanwhile, yuno is taking things Too Far^(TM) still. ]

Look... no, look at me. [ what the fuck are manners. she's pushing dave's sunglasses up so she can look him in the eyes. this is ridiculous. ] I know. And I'm going to make that the safest trip you and your sister will ever have, I promise. I'm not letting anything happen to you. I'm only saying the truth, if something happens, it's going to happen to me. It's not easy doing that kind of work, but I'm doing this for you, and for Adrien, and for Elizabeth. We're all going to break free. This is the last cage, and then we're going to be free to go wherever we want.

But if anything happens to me before that, I want us both to know we did what we wanted. Look, even Chat's here for us. [ this is real ] You managed to get a superhero for your best man, isn't that amazing?

...So are you going to help me decapitate an alien drone during our vows or not?

[ #romance ]

[socloverit]

[okay so Clover absolutely had Let It Go playing to encourage the idiocy happening down there, she's been watching all of this from the cockpit and giving Light a play-by-play and having the absolute time of her life, but now that she's picked herself up off the ground and reoriented the ship and finished losing her shit laughing she hears "wedding," and she keeps hearing the word "wedding," and this is happening. this is seriously about to happen.

holy shit.

The Disney soundtrack cuts out abruptly. There are a few moments of unsettling silence while Clover flicks through her soundtrack options, trying to make sure her selection is perfect, and then—

Yes.

Good.]

[bloodteller]

[ this is. actually pretty sweet of you, clover. in yuno's book, at least. takes her back to almost fourteen weeks ago, when she mistook you for a baby.

so she's laughing because clover is playing NICKI MINAJ for her mid-battle wedding. holy shit. perfect. ]

And I guess that's our aisle song, right?

...Thank you, Clover!

[ because jason's in no way the type of person to play nicki during a wedding so its CLEARLY clover ]

[muties]

[ AND IN THE BACKGROUND IS DAVE'S MOM flying around beating up drones and phasing through walls like an asshole

she does a pass through one wall and what is going on here oh my god IS HER BABY GETTING MARRIED ]

Ohhhh my god if I miss this wedding 'cause of drones I will fly off and wreck that alien eyeball myself.

[ then she phases away again to return a moment later to... shove a bouquet of flowers into yuno's hands. does the garden even have flowers anymore. if not they are fucked up and green from roxy's shitty powers. ]

As mother of the groom, I bless this union! [ that's not a thing roxy didn't watch enough wedding movies ]

[parodeity]

[ oh my god leave his shades alone? he kind of ineffectually bats at yuno's hands since dave has to put up at least a token protest to anyone removing his shades. at least he's not concerned she'll try to lick his eyeball or something like he's always been certain terezi would do...

terezi pyrope why do you do you... ]

I mean, yeah, sure. Decapitation is a thing I can do. But you know Rose and I can handle whatever the tears throw at us, right? Supposedly we're like a nearly unbeatable tactical combination or some shit like that.

[ dave. don't pretend like you don't pay attention when rose talks. ]

Also. I guess no one can tell Adrien I'm bff cheating on him.

[ he's gonna laugh at judar forever over this brb. but dave does. smile. ]

Also, the no-rings thing is false. I totally have custom-made Lalonde origami rings. ...Er, one ring. Whatever. You can have that? Mom gets bored easy.

[douchemag]

[Judar's expression is somwhere between irritated and confused at all of these shenanigans and being BULLIED INTO MARRIAGE AGAIN...and then goes surprised as the dulcet tones of Nicki Minaj plays before he finally gives up and just starts laughing.]

Shit, if our captain and Nicki Minaj approve of this, who the hell am I to say no? I'll even provide some mood lighting.

[He flicks a lazy salute at the ceiling where the camera probably is before summoning a ball of dark lightning to hover above them, which pulses in time to the boom boom da boom boom bass and lights up the room like a danceclub. Also has the handy side-effect of sending out bolts of lightning to fry approaching drones in time to the music.]

All right, let's get this party fucking started then! Dearly beloved and gross cockroach corpses, we are gathered here today to witness the union between Dave Strider and Yuno Gasai. [pause to blow a few drones out of the way with a gust of wind] Because what's more fucking romantic than getting married in the middle of a giant eyeball while splattered with the guts of a thousand fleshy bug things? Get your vows out now, don't care if you do it in rhyme or do it in rap but you better do it fast because we're probably all about to drive right into the fucking sun.

[bloodteller]

[ yuno's responding to dave-- ] Family shoulders burdens together, right? So the three of us will be supporting each other through it. It's not just me. I get that. [ turns out yuno actually... listens to people she likes?? wow. teen angst has a limit, apparently. ] And I can duplicate that, you know. Then we'll both have rings. [ ...and then roxy is blessing their union and like

don't mind yuno borderline bursting into tears and then stomping on a cockroach drone? while grasping a bouquet from her new mom-in-law? she's covered in alien guts but!! ] Thank you. Mom? It's Mom, now, right...?

[ BUT THEN JUDAR? ]

Wait, our-- our own... How do you even know who Nicki Minaj is? You don't even know what televi... Never mind.

[ there's a damn dark lightning disco ball over her head, superbass is playing, a cthulhu priest is marrying her off to the knight of time, she's covered in alien guts and they're going through an alien queen's eyeball like.

what a ceremony. yuno buys herself a moment by swinging her machete through an oncoming wave of drones. ]

You...

...You were right. My family sucks. ...I don't actually have any family. [ this is pretty heavy for a fucking mid battle vow, but whatever. taking things too seriously is what she does. ] My mother probably won't even try to contact me when we reach the other ship. She never wanted me - but that's okay. I don't need her. It's okay. I can find my own family. It doesn't matter how much someone hurts either of us, you know? I'm here to help. That's what family means. We're together and because of that, we can get through anything. You don't call someone family lightly, and you're... my family now. So I promise to take care of you and make you apple juice anytime you want, even if it's four in the morning. I'll show you how to make it, too, but I'd like it if you would rely on me from time to time, and.

[ she's dying? she's dying. bye, everyone. ]

That's my vow to you. I'll be your family, and I'll share my life with you. Which might be kind of long? I'm not sure on the life span of a goddess, still. It doesn't matter. [ the machete is swung through the head of a drone and again, gross alien goo everywhere, but yuno extends an arm to dave. ] So do you, Dave Strider, take me to be your wife? In sickness and in health, til death or a crash landing on the sun do us part?

And... For the record, death's not keeping us apart.

[ UM ]