I hardly know how to answer that question.

[He seems a little surprised by it, honestly.]

There are decisions here that I've made that I'm not proud of. I don't want to bore you with excuses or philosophical meanderings. Ultimately, I suppose I felt it right that you know that I know that your life mattered. It wasn't something to take lightly.

I'm often poor at expressing such sentiments; insouciant to the point of disrespect and insincere. But there are things in which I would like to try to be better.