WEEK 0 - Awakening

[al2955]

the pygmalion. . . ONLINE CAPTAIN'S LOG: WEEK (0)

friday - sunday (41) survivors You awaken with stiff arms and legs — a pervading out-of-body feeling. You may briefly find it difficult to move your limbs, only able to stare lifelessly out of the blue tinted glass in front of your eyes. It's very cold. It's so cold that your heart seems to beat only every so often. Are your eyes even open yet? It would be so easy to slip back into a deep sleep, to let your frigid body rest a while longer. That probably isn't what you want to do, though. You want out of the claustrophobic pod you've found yourself in. If you wiggle your head enough, you can turn to see other pods much like yours — other people, all in identical utilitarian outfits, made complete with an emblem on the sleeve. No matter how much you whoop, or how much they holler, none of you can hear a single thing. Until a song begins to jangle loudly. As it reaches its chorus, the pods unlock, their latches lazily swinging up above you. You can't worm yourself out of the blankets you're wrapped in fast enough. As the song reaches its inevitable end, you're met with a deafening silence and an enveloping darkness — the dim lights above only serve to showcase the room's sleek and chrome walls and floors. If you get tired of the suffocating tension in this room, you may decide to venture outside — there's an entire building waiting to be explored. A building? For some reason that doesn't seem right. There's no exit, only a nonfunctional elevator. Everything is of polished design, yet it does not feel quite right — it's much too dead. Strangely, most rooms seem to contain an identical statue, one of two twins knelt and holding a jar, as if to pour its contents to the floor. It remains one of the few rustic design elements of the area. To make matters more eerie, there are doors — rooms, it seems like — with names on plaques. Your names. Trying to twist the valves open yield nothing, however — they're locked. It's all confusing, strange, nonsensical, and everyone is so loud. Perhaps if everyone would shut up — if only you could shut them up — you could— Silence. ENTER COMMAND_

Comments

rise up

[muties]

[ roxy's just. looking at everyone because wow who the f are all these people, where is everyone she actually knows? holy crap. her eyes slide by the blonde kid with red eyes, but wait a sec, and she slides them back.

it's probably the lack of shades that make her pause, otherwise it would have clicked in her head a lot faster. but holy shit, that's dirk's bro. that's dirk's bro?? of all the people she expects to spot, dirk's bro (but teen-sized like her mom) was not high on that list at all.

there's no way she isn't going to beeline the fuck over there. this is the first person she's recognized, and also? is dirk's bro? she's not gonna ignore her bro's bro. ]

Yoooo, hi!!

[ would hugging him outright without warning be weird YEAH IT WOULD SHE'LL REFRAIN FOR THE MOMENT ]

[parodeity]

[ oh hey it's that choice babe in the pajamas who is now wearing the same fashion disaster as dave. and who is definitely his teen mom. thanks for warning him about that shit, rose, you're a pal. dave's eyes widen only a fractional hair and...roxy gets to see that in real time because he pauses in trying to find his shades.

uh. shit. what the hell was rose's mom's name. okay, it's probably something lalonde, he can just call her lalonde until he remembers - ]

Sup, mom.

[ fUCK ]

[muties]

[ ok that's not what she expected but yeah ok that makes sense, doesn't it. she knows she's actually rose's mom, dirk's bro actually kind of looks like rose in a way, so. sure, why the fuck wouldn't she somehow genetically be dirk's bro's mom.

or maybe he just calls everyone mom.

either way, she laughs. ]

Nothin' much, just a reg wake up to folk rock inside a pod surrounded by strangers. You?

[parodeity]

I meant Lalonde. Uh. Shit. Rose might have told me your name, but I kinda didn't - [ you know, retain it??? he was more busy being weirded out by the idea of alternate universe bro.

(he is still weirded out by the idea of alternate universe bro). ]

I'm Dave, but I guess you know that already? And p much all I can say as to what's up is shenanigans. Shenanigans are up, as per usual, and of course no one else seems to be here to heed their call. Because that would be easy, or something.

[muties]

Roxy. But mom's ok too. [ she's glad on some weird level rose knows her name?? that is a dumb thing to be glad about, leave her alone. and if dave wants to call her mom THAT IS ALSO FINE, it's not like she hasn't been into the idea of kids since forever or anything. ]

Would you prefer Mr Strider? [ she's going to call him davey just u wait. ] Shenanigans, huh? Well, those can't be easy, then they wouldn't be shenans.

[parodeity]

What no you can call me Dave. [ mr. strider sounds fine but like. ] We're related? I mean. You know that, right? I have no idea what the fuck you guys actually know about what's up with the whole state of everything thing, not gonna lie. But basically you may as well just go with Dave. When you contribute half of someone's genetic code to them I'm pretty sure one of the perks is getting to call them by their first name, although don't quote me on that.

[muties]

Ok, Davey. [ there she goes ] I. Yes, I totally know that, yep that is a thing I knew and know and have been fully informed on, absofuckinlutely. I just wasn't sure you know about that.

[ ok so she is his ecto mom OK COOL. she was. not sure. god, is this something john explained? IT PROBABLY IS, she should have paid closer attention to his words rather than his mackability goddamn it ]

Hmm, I dunno, we may have to talk to the genetic social code people 'bout that.

[parodeity]

K, I'm gonna pretend that was at all convincin'. If you need the 411 on anything let me know but otherwise. What's the last thing you remember. Is this our brains on drugs and or grimbark friend shenanigans or what? I feel like we should hash that shit out at least a lil bit so we can pretend to be halfway on the ball. Just kinda dip our pinky toes up on that shit.

[ damnit mom stop daydreaming about john when he rambles about need to know shit

though honestly dave would have tuned john out too so he can't judge ]

[muties]

Thanks, I appreciate it.

[ she'll ask him if that means that jane/jake are john/jake's grandma's parents too since that seems like a logical step. either that or they are each other's actual grandparents and maybe dirk is also literally dave's brother and wait would roxy be dirk's mom too then haha n o yeah ectobiology can only be so stupid ]

Uh, let's see. That smug blue bitch was flappin' her lips. Jake was all kinds of powerin' up or something, Janey and Jake's grandma were still bein' brainwashed. I. May have gotten ko'd by what's her shit? I'm not 100% on that.

Or what, is my guesstimate. I've been down the brains on drugs path, it's a lot more pastel and insane. [ ugh trickster mode u g h ] Dip our pinky toes in the super chill waters of knowin' what the f is goin' down?

[parodeity]

Basically. Sounds like we're remembering the same bullshit as being shit that was being shat previously? Like. I def remember the whole John's grandma and Jade bein' brainwashed as fuck, which by the way was complete horseshit and that should stop being a thing immediately?

[ because he misses non-brainwashed jade????? she was less into making him randomly fight people with swords????? ]

Anyway I will go out on a limb here and just say that the current shenanigans are probably related to the previous shenanigans or at least they are related to the universal law that we can't go five damn minutes without something stupid occurring.

[ ... ]

What drugs did you even do that were all pastel?

[muties]

Goddamn right it should.

[ she can tell she'd be bros with jake's grandma if she weren't all BARK BARK and damn does she miss janey :( ]

Question is how the fuck are they related? None of this looks like any shit I've seen in the game or whatever. Like, what the fuck happened that we ended up here from where we were without like. Knowin.

We didn't do 'em. I dunno 'bout Jake and Janey but they fuckin magic pumpkin'd me then we were all-- [ GESTURES, UGH NOISE ] runnin round being stupid af till it wore off and we were on those bed things. It was. So stupid, you don't even know.

[parodeity]

They did what now.

[ magic pumpkin'd you WHAT. harleyberts of the previous generation WHAT. hold on dave isn't sure he actually wants to know. he crosses his arms, shifting - wait, he was looking for his shades. right. he will continue going through his pockets, uncrossing his arms again to do so. ]

It doesn't look like the game to me, either, but honestly when does anything in the game make sense? We coulda got warped somewhere thanks to our grimbark dork, but. I guess for the time bein' at least we're in a pair rather than like, completely solo with a bunch of random strangers?

[muties]

Man, tbh I'm not even sure what happened to them. But after I sprung free a' jail, they hunted my invisible ass down and pumpkin'd me. Then we... went way off the rails, got all fruity colored and cotton candy'd, decided to all get married, tried to get poor Di Stri in on it too-- ugh, I owe him a helluva apology.

[ she wasn't sure she wanted to explain, mostly because she doesn't know wtf even happened and it was Not her greatest moment. ]

Haha, yeah, true. And Jake's bark bark grandma's gotta hella powers, so I'd believe it. [ hella powers that she threatened to use to... rip roxy's guts out......

hooks an arm around dave's shoulders, kind of a half hug ] That's right, at least we got team whatever on the case. I'm glad neither of us are rollin' solo, like a lost tumbleweed on the set of a shitty western movie.

[parodeity]

[ omg. dave didn't expect the affection so he like. pauses? but it isn't a bad pause, and he finds his shades and just kind of holds them in his hand for a second before...returning the half hug??? he guesses???? man his mom is so short and cute and friendly where the fuck did all of that friendliness go? ]

Nah, instead we're stuck on the set of a shitty sci-fi film which I'm not sure if that's better or not? If an alien comes out of your chest at any point in time I'm done, btw.

[muties]

[ where did all the friendliness go, neither of her children inherited it?? why do they take after dirk in the affection department wow. ]

Things could be worse? Could be on the set of a shitty anime. Fair 'nuff. If one bursts thru yours, I promise to beat the shit out of it in a motherly fashion.

[parodeity]

[ dave probably got the dregs of it but as to the rest... ]

Which is to say a badass fashion? I'm p sure moms are supposed to go apeshit on anything that threatens their babies in nature. Like, just generally speakin'.

[muties]

[ dregs are better than none ]

Damn straight. Like, bears always fuck up anything that messes with their cubs. And I'll do my best to be your bear, Dave.

[ decides that right now. she's gonna mom the shit out of u, child.

pauses. ] Actually, wait, I'm p sure a bear means something totes different? [ from her research of the yaois ] What about cougars-- nope, that's. Worse. [ god why are animals all sexual things now ]

Haha, anyway, you should tell me more about yourself, cub. All I know is about Dirk's Bro, and that's just legendary bs about beatin' up clowns and cool jpegy movies.

[parodeity]

[ does he get the ramble thing from roxy holy shit it has a source ]

Whoa wait, hold up. I need to hear more about these cool jpegy movies, and also potentially the clown beating up thing, what the fuck was I doin' post-scratch? Then we can totally get down to a machine gun question round or somethin', and I'll even let you go first with the askin'. I'm kinda bad at like, summarizing and also staying on topic so if you just ask whatever you wanna know that'd probs work out better.

[muties]

[ to be fair all the strilondes ramble, but dave definitely gets the habit of sounding ridic and derailing their own thoughts from roxy. congrats kid. ]

Haha. Di Stri is the expert on all things you so he'd be a better person to ask, but I guess since he ain't reared his pointy shades yet-- you made this movie series called Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, and had a huge media empire like a boss. The movies I think are just hilar, but Dirk could write you an essay on all the apparent political subliminal yada in them? Basically you and my m-- Rose, you and Rose, just really liked sassin' the Batterwitch. You guys were super hella cool.

[ until the batterwitch killed them both uh ]

A machine gun question round probs ain't a bad idea. I'd say I'm fan-fuckin-tastic at staying on topic and summarizing but I'm p sure that'd be a huge lie.

[parodeity]

Dirk. [ rIGHT, bro. dave is not sure he wanted to know dirk's name. he never really knew bro's name??? okay look maybe he should just like.

move the fuck on. ]

Ok, let's get this shit on the road. You ask whatever, I answer, no holds barred. Let's get DOWN in this knowin' one another shit. We're gonna family this bitch up.